BLD: improve handling of CBLAS, add -Duse-ilp64 build option - #23984

In a conda env:
```
Run-time dependency openblas found: YES 0.3.23
Checking if "CBLAS" with dependency openblas: links: YES
```

On Arch Linux before the just-updated 0.23.23-2 build that included
CBLAS and LAPACK in the `openblas` package (see numpygh-23909):
```
$ python -m build --wheel
...
Run-time dependency openblas found: YES
Checking if "CBLAS" with dependency openblas: links: NO
Run-time dependency cblas found: YES 3.11.0
...

$ ldd numpy/core/_multiarray_umath.cpython-311-x86_64-linux-gnu.so
        linux-vdso.so.1 (0x00007fff59235000)
        libopenblas.so.0 => /usr/lib/libopenblas.so.0 (0x00007f5cb4b08000)
        libcblas.so.3 => /usr/lib/libcblas.so.3 (0x00007f5cb62b3000)
        libm.so.6 => /usr/lib/libm.so.6 (0x00007f5cb4a1b000)
        libgcc_s.so.1 => /usr/lib/libgcc_s.so.1 (0x00007f5cb628e000)
        libc.so.6 => /usr/lib/libc.so.6 (0x00007f5cb4831000)
        libgomp.so.1 => /usr/lib/libgomp.so.1 (0x00007f5cb623d000)
        /usr/lib64/ld-linux-x86-64.so.2 (0x00007f5cb62f2000)

```

Closes numpygh-23909

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Co-authored-by: Sebastian Berg <[email protected]>