If you haven’t guessed by the name of the domain, I’m Stef Dawson and this is my corner of cyberspace dedicated to all things random. I’m in debt, massively overweight, should take meds for no reason other than the fact I might die of everything at once, supposed to add my name to a chain letter so Bill Gates will make poverty history, and my vices are BBW in my neighbourhood, chewable Cialis, poker, and Vicodin … or so the spam companies appear to think. I’m also a bit unorthodox. That’s me over there. No, not that way, that picture over there. How many people look like that who aren’t in the loony bin?
At the moment I’m too lazy to finish the site. Not that a website should ever be deemed ‘finished’ per se, but at the very least it should have content worthy of reading, and perhaps a small ornamental shrubbery to one side. Ergo, with it somewhat lacking on both these counts, this site is labelled Work In Progress and is subject to change that could upset the Byzantine Empire.
In case you’re the sort of person that twitches like a cock-starved nymphomaniac if you don’t tweet every 8 minutes to show your friends how exciting you are, check out the latest happenings to prove just how glacial my site updates are. Alternatively you could tread one of the following recent paths:
Play Crouching Badger, Hidden Terror Mashup the title of the rubbish film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon to improve it. Plug smd_short_url Automatically offer visitors the option of using site.com/article-ID as a shortcut for your real article titles. Optionally generate the canonical link tag for search eng… Post Google Maps has its best interests at heart Google Maps is a toy to help you plan a route. But what happens when it becomes more than that? Say, when it drives you around, and advertisers muscle in.
You might also enjoy the blog post entitled The march of Miss Goulding, but there’s always the possibility you think it blows. For those who crave even more hipness you can find me on Facebook or you can join the bandits awaiting my first utterance on Twatter.
If you’re in any way dissatisfied with what’s going on amid these bytes, feel free to send me an email and I’ll either send you back an estimate of when I’ll get this site firing on more than one cylinder1 or point at your genitals and laugh.
1 fineprint: One estimate per customer. Management reserve the right for the estimate to be within three decades (plus or minus) of the actual time the site works properly. No correspondence (after the initial correspondence of course) will be entered into. English teachers please forgive the last sentence ending with a preposition. Calls cost no more than thruppence a second and last for a week. Calls may be monitored for training porpoises. The editor’s decision is unanimous and his own, so ner.
